Why am I here? - An alcoholic Joke

An alcoholic wakes up in jail.

He asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?"

"For drinking," replies the officer.

"Great," says the man, "when do we start?"

Irish Prostitute !! A must read piece

Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?'

The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.'

'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug !!!

The History Of No Shave November

As November quickly approaches, a lazy darkness settles over College Park and another kind of darkness is creeping onto the faces of men across campus: facial hair.

Nov. 1 marks the start of Movember (a word blend of “mustache” and “November”) or No Shave November, an annual month-long event in which men refrain from shaving and allow their beards and 'staches to grow wild and free.

University students are just some among millions of men in the nation partaking in Movember.

“I’m not sure exactly why No Shave November exists,” said Franco Frega, a freshman enrolled in Letters and Sciences. “I’m participating to celebrate my new college freedom. My mom isn’t here to tell me to shave anymore.”

“[Movember] gives me a reason to be lazy,” remarked freshman history major Alexander Selengut, another student participating in the 30-day event.

While Movember provides students with the perfect opportunity to embrace their newfound college freedom or excuse to be lazy, the event’s actual history and purpose prove much more poignant. In 2003, in Melbourne, Australia, Movember began as an official global charity that aspired to “have an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health.”

In an effort to garner public awareness regarding prostate cancer in men, the charity kick-started a fundraiser in which men would donate $10 to grow a mustache for 30 days. Movember has since found its way to a myriad of other countries. By 2012, 21 nations, including the United States, were engaging in the “no shave” event.

The Movember Foundation has raised $174 million worldwide as of 2012. By registering on Movember.com, participants, called “Mo Bros,” agree to join the movement by growing a mustache for the month of November. Mo Bros raise money by asking friends and family to donate to their efforts. 83.1% of the funds raised in the United States go toward programs and initiatives aimed at fighting prostate and testicular cancers. The remaining funds finance the Movember team’s fundraising and administrative tasks.

According to the American Cancer Society, about 238,590 new cases of prostate cancer have been recorded in the United States in 2013. Prostate cancer remains the most common type of cancer in American men and the second-leading cause of cancer death in men.

“No Shave November is a powerful event because a bunch of men growing facial hair at the same time really draws attention to the fight against prostate cancer,” said sophomore finance and accounting major Tyler Boyles.

“[The event] serves as a mass statement. Yet, as students’ faces sprout various forms of facial hair, they remain largely unaware of the true significance their 'staches carry.

“[Movember] is a fun event, but it’s not pointless,” said freshman math major Stephen Lyons. “It’s important for those who are growing out their facial hair to understand and know that by not shaving, they are supporting men who suffer from prostate cancer.”