How a Sri Lankan got White House Painting Contract !!!

Donald Trump wants the white house painted!

Chinese guy quoted 3 million.

European guy quoted 7 million.

Srilankan guy quoted 10 million.

Trump asked Chinese guy how did you quote?

He said:

1 million for paint

1 million for labour

1 million profit.

He asked European..

He said : 

3 million for paint

2 million for labour

2 million profit.

He asked Srilankan..

 Sri Lankan said:

4 million for me

3 million for you

3 million will give it to the Chinese guy to paint.

Sri Lankan got the painting contract 😜😜👌😊😃😃

Alien Barber

Alien Barber

LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

30. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

What does love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
_____

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8 (Yes Rebecca, I agree.)
_____

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
_____

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
_____

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Booby, is it something like, "It is more fun to give than to receive'?)
_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (Great advise!)
_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____

"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
_____

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4 (Isn't that called unconditional love?)
_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
___

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8 (Great advise, Jessica!)
_____

And the final one -- 

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
_____

Amazing Aamir Khan !!! - Fat To Fit | Aamir Khan's unbelievable Body Transformation

Amazing Aamir Khan !!! - 
Fat To Fit | Aamir Khan's unbelievable Body Transformation

Watch the full video of Aamir Khan's body transformation from 97 kgs to six packs for Hindi Movie #Dangal here.

8 Weird But Effective Strategies for Saving your Time

Got a minute? No, you say?

You need not be a superhero to effectively manage your time at the office. You just need some simple solutions that will allow you to maximize your efficiency. Here are eight weird but effective strategies for managing your time even when you work in a busy office with lots of people who are magnetized to you like moths to light.

1. Stand up.
If someone comes into my office while I’m feverishly trying to get work done, I stand up. I will absolutely engage in conversation, but it’s going to be a short one. When you go from sitting to standing, it sends a message that you are on a schedule. It is my experience that when the other party receives the message, they keep their questions, comments or idea sharing short.

2. Don’t have chairs.
I will admit, I don’t practice this, but I have a business associate who does and he swears by it. He has no guest chairs in his office. He says that the problem with chairs is that people come and sit in them and they chat. No chairs, no chat.

3. Share lunch.
Sometimes your co-workers, employees and staff just want to get to know you. That’s why if I am in the office working during lunch, I’ll have lunch with them so that get the opportunity to chat about fun stuff without losing valuable work time.

4. Set parameters.
If I am busy working in the office and someone asks me if I’ve got a minute, I’ll tell them yes and I’ll tell them how many minutes I’ve got.

“Sure, I’ve got about five minutes but then I need to get back to this project.”

At about the five-minute mark, I will start looking at the clock to signal that their time is nearly over. If I can’t answer the question or offer the needed assistance in that time, I’ll ask if we can schedule a longer meeting later in the day.

5. Know when to take calls.
This seems like a no-brainer. I never take an unsolicited call from a number that I don’t recognize, ever. People can leave messages and I will choose to call back if I am interested. If I am unsure as to whether I’m interested in taking the call, I will likely have an assistant call the person back to get more information with regards to the nature of the call.

It’s important to note here that an unwanted call can also come in handy at times. If you have someone taking up too much time and you are lucky enough to get an unexpected call during that time, take the call while saying to your guest, “I’ll reach out to you later, I need to take this call.”

6. Control dings, beeps and bops.
When I am working in the office, I set a limit on checking my email to every half hour. Important too, I make sure the volume is off on my computer and my phone. The dings, beeps and bops from email and social media are maddening. If my Facebook or Twitter beeps, I have to check it — I must keep the sound off so I can get work done in between emails.

7. Keep a power hour.
There are times when I simply cannot be disturbed. In those instances, I’ll do what every good hotel allows you to do when you want quiet time and hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. I have found it even more effective to make sure that I explain why on the sign, otherwise you will still get people who cross the line.

For example, my sign might read, “Do Not Disturb — Webinar in Process.” The sign coupled with the reason for it has been most effective.

8. Scrap the glass door.
There was a time long, long ago, when I had a glass door to my office. Big mistake! A glass door is like working in a fish tank and even when the door is shut, people wave you down and make bizarre hand gestures while trying to determine if you can talk. Get rid of the glass door in favor of one that offers full privacy for those times when you need to be super efficient.

STACEY ALCORN

End of our World ??!! - These Photos From A Chinese Factory Are Haunting

End of our World ??!! - 
These Photos From A Chinese Factory Are Haunting

As the world’s biggest polluter, China faces an extraordinary challenge in reducing its emissions — one made all the more difficult because of the countless high-polluting factories scattered across the country.

Authorities have moved to shut down many of the worst-offending factories, but some factory owners simply pay informal “fines” to local authorities before re-opening.

Photojournalist Kevin Frayer traveled to Inner Mongolia with Getty Images earlier this month to capture some haunting pictures of life inside one steel mill.

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade ! - Collection of rare photos

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade !

A leader with a vision, a supremo with a superior approach..

The world proudly look up to him.

Fidel Castro shown in 1959. (AP Photo)

Cuban leaders walk arm-in-arm at the head of the March 5, 1960 funeral procession for the victims of the La Coubre explosion, blamed by the Cuban government on a U.S. bomb attack on the Cuban ship La Coubre in the harbor of Havana. From left to right are Fidel Castro; the first president of post-Batista Cuba, Osvaldo Dortico; Ernesto “Che” Guevara; Defense Minister Augusto Martinez-Sanchez; Ecology Minister Antonio Nunez-Jimenez; American William Morgan from Toledo, Ohio; and Spaniard Eloy Gutierrez Menoyo. Morgan became a Cuban sympathizer after a friend was reportedly killed by President Batista’s police. He was later executed in 1961, accused of being anti-Communist. Menoyo later founded the anti-Castro Alfa 66 organization. (AP Photo)

Cuban guerrilla leader Fidel Castro does some reading while at his rebel base in Cuba’s Sierra Maestra mountains in this 1957 photo. (AP Photo/Andrew St. George)

Castro leads his victorious troops

Photograph: History Archive/Rex/Shutterstock

Fidel Castro, left, and Che Guevara. (Photo: DeAgostini/Getty Images)

Castro holds up a newspaper in New York in 1959. When asked about a reported assassination attempt, Castro had replied, ‘In Cuba, they had tanks, planes and they run away. So what are they going to do here? I sleep well and don’t worry at all’

Photograph: Bettmann/Corbis

Fidel Castro with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev during a four-week official visit to Moscow, 1963

Photograph: OFF/AFP/Getty Images

Castro cutting sugar cane, Cuba, 1970

Photograph: Gilberto Ante/Roger Viollet/Getty Images

Fidel Castro, the young anti-Batista Guerilla leader, center, is seen with his brother Raul Castro, left, and Camilo Cienfuegos, right, while operating in the Mountains of Eastern Cuba, March 14, 1957. (AP Photo/Andrew St. George

Fidel Castro, right, and P.L.O leader Yasser Arafat join hands following the P.L.O. closing speech at the final session of the 7th Non-Aligned Summit conference, March 13, 1983 in New Delhi. (AP Photo/Indian TV)

Fidel Castro talks with President Idi Amin of Uganda during a break in the closing session of the fourth summit meeting of the Non-Aligned countries at the Palais des Nationes conference hall in Algiers, Sept. 9, 1977. (AP Photo)

Cuban Premier Fidel Castro gestures during his marathon speech to the United Nations General Assembly, Oct. 12, 1979 in New York. (AP Photo)

Castro watches former US president Jimmy Carter throw a baseball prior to the start of a a friendly baseball match between two Cuban teams on 14 May 2002 in Havana, Cuba

Photograph: Sven Creutzmann/Mambo Photograph/Getty Images

Fidel Castro, right, describes the Lenin Statue to Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev during wreath laying ceremonies Monday, April 3, 1989 in Havana.  (AP Photo/Boris Yurchenko)

Castro with Nelson Mandela in 1991 in Matanzas

Photograph: Omar Torres/AFP/Getty Images

Fidel Castro with his brother Raul.

Photograph: Rafael Perez/REUTERS

Cuban leader Fidel Castro and Pope John Paul II pose during their historical meeting at the Vatican Tuesday, November 19 1996. (AP Photo/Arturo Mari)

Cuban President Fidel Castro, left, and Venezuelan President Fidel Castro are seen Tuesday, Dec.14, 2004 during a welcoming ceremony at the Revolution Palace in Havana, Cuba. (AP Photo/Jose Goitia)

Fidel Castro, pictured with Russian President, Vladimir Putin, at the “Palace of the Revolution,”. Putin it is the first president of Russia ex-comunist that Cuba view, after the fall of the “Wall of Berlin”. December 14, 2000. (Jorge Rey/MediaPunch/IPX/AP)

Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez, right, and Cuba’s former President Fidel Castro pose for a photo during a meeting in Havana, Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2009. (AP Photo/Argentinean Presidential Press Office)

Fidel Castro attends the last day of the 7th Cuban Communist Party Congress in Havana, Cuba. Fidel Castro formally stepped down in 2008 after suffering gastrointestinal ailments and public appearances have been increasingly unusual in recent years, April 19, 2016. (Ismael Francisco/Cubadebate via AP)

Men - Women - Joke

God created Man,stepped back and said:"Perfect."

Then God created Woman,stepped back and said:

"Hmm, I think this will have to wear make-up!!