Daddy's Big Tummy - Joke

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

New Nighty - Joke

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."

Wives !!!!

Wives !!!!

Wife : "why are u home so early?"

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town 

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in his neighbourhood 

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego! 😷

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Whisky is a brilliant invention.

One double and you start feeling single again. 😇

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.

The slide show begins.😜😜😜

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day😂

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....😜😜

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Wives are magicians........

They can change anything into an argument....😆😜

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don't have a wife!😜 😜😆😜

📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼

Share this with all men for a good laugh and with women who can handle it...

Rules of Sex ! - One Good Joke

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Fishing and wife - Joke

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Poor Dog ! - Joke

One fine morning, a billionaire was taking a walk with his dog.
Suddenly a man ran out from the bushes in front of him and shot the poor dog three times. The dog was dead.
The billionaire screamed at the killer, "Why did you do that?".
The killer answered, "Your wife gave me $50,000 and said, "Go, kill that son-of-a-bitch"".

The billionaire hugged the killer & with tears in his eyes said...

"I don't know who your English teacher was, but I am forever grateful to her".

Neighbour's wife

A person reported to the police about ''Missing of his neighbour's wife.''

Police: why are you complaining about his missing wife ?

Reply: I can't tolerate that guy's happiness !!! He celebrates every day.. 😆😆

Diamond Necklace :D - Joke

Wife:(waking up from her sleep)
I just had a dream that
you bought me
a diamond necklace

Husband : go back to sleep and wear it!

Ambulance ! - Joke

A Woman called for an ambulance..

Operator: How may I help you?

Woman: I banged my toe against the coffee table and hurt it real bad.

Operator: And you want to call an ambulance for that?

Woman: No. The ambulance is for my husband. He shouldn't have laughed like that......
😳😳😀

Wife and Newspaper - Joke

Wife asked her husband to give the newspaper ....

Husband: How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper ... ???
Take my iPad ....

Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach

Husband faints

*Moral:*Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument.
Show your smartness in your office only ....

What is the date today? - Joke

When I reached hospital,
I got a call from my wife...
"what is the date today?"

I was wondering..😳
then told her 11th September...
call disconnected...
i was wondering..her birthday?

No...mine...No... anniversary...no..
son's birthday ...no...
in laws birthday anniversary...
no...gas booking..done...utility payments done...
her uncle who arrives when we want to go out, sqat and kill us and our time...his birthday ...no... Then?!

Why date??? Lunch and evening tea went with spinning questions...reached home...

Junior was playing in car park... Asked him....how is the weather in kitchen? Tornado... tsunami???...

Boy told " all normal. Why?".." your mom asked me..what is the date today in the morning?"...

Boy smiled and told me..." I tore some sheets from calendar in morning...

She was confused..". Haaaa... 😂😂😎😎

*Being husband is a toughest job.* 😀😎😃😂