Terrific quotes ( Have fun )

Terrific quotes Love th is photogenic it needs darkness to develop. ************ A good discussion is like a miniskirt, Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject! ************ Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children! ************ "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep! ************ There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning! ************ "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY", So what? Who's in a hurry? ************ "Hard work never killed anybody", But why take the risk! (I don't want to be an exception!) ************ "Work fascinates me", I can sit and watch it for hours! ************ God made relatives, Thank God we can choose our friends. ************ My girlfriend ran away with my best friend and I really am sorry for him! ************ God is Alive! Speak to Him!, (It's cheaper after 9.30 p.m.!) ************ When two's company, three's the result! ************ A designer dress is like a barbed fence, It protects the premises without restrictinge view! ************

Alphabet of Marriage

A - Absolutely adore each other B - Be best friends C - Compromise D - Discover new things together E - Encourage each other F - Forgive and forget G - Gaze into each others eyes H - Hold hands and hug a lot I - Inspire and intrigue each other J - Joke and laugh and have fun K - Kiss Kiss Kiss ;-) L - Love with all your hearts M - Marvel at each other's talents N - Nuture each other's soul O - Overcome problem together P - Play games Q - Quiet each other's fears R - Remember the little things S - Say "I love you" everyday T - Take time for tenderness U - Understand and care deeply V - Value everything you share W - Wish on stars together X - X-press your true feelings Y - Yearn for each other's touch Z - Zzzzz in each other's arm

Kiss me baby..... The Top 10 Kissing Pickup Lines!

Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

You're so hot, I could fry an egg on your head.

You're like a great song -- I just can't get you out of my head.

You must be a broom, 'cause you swept me off my feet.

You know, my lips aren't going to kiss themselves.

Your feet must hurt, because you've been running through my mind all day.

Finally! Someone good enough for me!

I lost my dreidel -- can I take you for a spin?

You know those long walks on the beach everyone's always talking about? We should take one sometime.

So, where do you hide your wings, angel?

Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary again?

If I were a frog, you'd be the first lilypad I'd jump on.

I can tie a cherry stem in a knot using only my tongue -- wanna see?

My friends call me Sugar Lips -- wanna find out why?

When God made you, he was totally showing off.

Negative People

 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.    

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. you're crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"  

"Continental?"  exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."  

"Don't go any further. I know that place.   Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him.   He'll look the size of an ant."

"Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.    

"It was wonderful,"  explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.    

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really!  What'd he say ?"    




He said: "Who f*****d up your hair?"

Teens who drink spend more time on Internet

Teenagers who consume alcohol spend more time on their computers for recreational use, including social networking and downloading and listening to music, according to a new study.

The study, conducted by researchers at Weill Cornell Medical College, was based on a survey of 264 teenagers, aged 13 to 17.

Results showed that teens who reported drinking in the last month used a computer more hours per week excluding school work than those who did not; however, there was no demonstrated link between alcohol use and computer use for school work.

Drinking was also linked to more frequent social networking and listening to and downloading music. There was no strong link between video games and drinking or online shopping and drinking.

“While the specific factors linking teenage drinking and computer use are not yet established, it seems likely that adolescents are experimenting with drinking and activities on the Internet,” said Epstein, assistant professor of public health at Weill Cornell Medical College.

“In turn, exposure to online material such as alcohol advertising or alcohol-using peers on social networking sites could reinforce teens” drinking.

“Children are being exposed to computers and the Internet at younger ages. For this reason it”s important that parents are actively involved in monitoring their children”s computer usage, as well as alcohol use,” he added.
The study was reported in the online edition of the journal Addictive Behaviors.

Family Problem......

Family Problem
 
 Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
  

 The Indian man said to the
 American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.' We call this arranged
 marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't
 love..... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'
 
 The American said, talking
 about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
 I married a widow whom I
 deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of
 years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and
 married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became
 my father's father-in-law.
 
 Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.
 
 Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson..
 
 And you say you have family
 problems...
 
 The Indian fainted…

Mirrors have a memory

Amazing Thoughts :: Must Read

Donkey Language

A wise man, a renowned teacher, once publicly vowed that he would eradicate illiteracy and he would teach everyone to read.

Some mischievous boys brought a donkey to the teacher and asked him if he could teach the donkey to read.

The wise teacher stunned the students by taking up the challenge and said, “Give me the donkey for a month and I will teach it to read.”

The teacher went home and began to train his donkey to read. 

At first he put the donkey into the stable and gave him no food for some days. 

Then he found a thick book and put some food between the pages. 

In the beginning the teacher turned the pages and gave the donkey the food between the pages.

After a while the donkey learnt to turn the pages with his tongue to find and eat the food by itself. 

Each time when the donkey finished the book and found no more food between the pages it would bray: “Eee aah... Eee aah...Eee aah...”

Then the teacher would reward the donkey with some food.

Three days before the one month period was over the teacher stopped feeding the donkey.

For three full days he did not feed the donkey.

The poor starved and famished donkey, after fasting for three days without a morsel of food, was voraciously hungry.

On the fateful day when the whole school assembled to see the miracle of the donkey reading. 

The wise teacher brought the ravenously hungry donkey onto the stage. 

He asked for a big book and put it in front of the donkey.

The hungry donkey turned the first page of the book with its tongue and when it could not find any food the donkey brayed: “Eee aah... Eee aah...” 

Then the donkey turned one more page, and again not finding any food, it cried: “Eee aah... Eee aah...”

The famished donkey kept turning the pages of the book one by one with its tongue and when it could not find any food between the pages its braying grew louder and louder and soon the hapless donkey was turning the pages and shrieking in a loud voice: “Eee aah... Eee aah...” till it reached a crescendo.

Proud of his achievement the wise teacher gave a said to the gathering: “You all have seen that the donkey has turned the pages of the book and he read it.”

One of the naughty students asked: “But we could not understand anything.”

The wise teacher replied: “Of course you could not understand what the donkey read because it was donkey language. In order to understand it you have to learn donkey language. Come to me for tuition in the evening. I will teach you donkey language.”

Moral of the Story

If you want to communicate with a "donkey", you have to learn "donkey language". 

By VIKRAM KARVE

THE POWER OF WORDS...

The Power Of Words

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the

 pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as goo

d as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and fina

lly made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him

 the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path.

The power of words....it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the

 spirit to continue in difficult times!

What Do Unborn Babies Think Of?

Boys n Girls While Using ATM

Difference between Boys and Girls while using ATM

Boys:

1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip 

Girls:

1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code

21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter maximum amount
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake

47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM.

Bachelor GUY & Bachelor GIRL

---

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A BACHELOR GUY 

Heading	First Week	Second Week	Third Week	Fourth Week
a) Bank Balance	20000	2000	200	20
b) Conveyance	Auto ("I can afford it")	Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")	Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")	Walk ("Good for health")
c) Girl Friends	Eena , Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love")	Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends")	Tina ("I am loyal to her")	"Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"
d) Mobile Maintenance	Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")	Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")	Rare outgoing calls ("Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")	Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")
e) Boozing	"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!	"Man, there is nothing in Goa . Let's go to Mysore ."	"The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"	"Drinking is injurious to health."

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GIRL

Heading	First Week	Second Week	Third Week	Fourth Week
a) Bank Balance	20000	20000	20000	20000
b) Conveyance	A uto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto  ("after all my boy friend pays for it")
c)  Boy  Friends	Abhinav , saleem, Peter	Sachin, sumeet, vinay	Abhijeet, Ram, christopher...	Arun , Saketh, vimal..
d) Mobile Maintenance	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)
e) Boozing	"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!	"Come, let's go to Kulu and freak out!	"Come, let's go to  Shimla  and freak out!	"Come, let's go to darjling and freak out!

Idea to save Dad's money

Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.

WEDDING CAKE

A Doctor at a health conference said,

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.

Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be destructive,

and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.

Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

99 Facts about Guys that Girls should know!

99 Facts about Guys that Girls should know!

This is from a girls' view...

I got 99 Facts About Guys that Girls Should Know!!! Here it is : 

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate other flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
5. Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phonejust to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them. …….dont think so
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalise
13. Guys cry!!!
14. Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands……yeh rite – watever.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”. ……so true.
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice…….very true.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts. ……..sumtimes.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does!……very true.
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends…..sumtimes depends wen they want sumat.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”……sumtimes.
59. Guys don’t really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him….very important.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ….they love u regardless.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!……true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact. ……sumtimes.
99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.