Men Will Be Men !!!

One day a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. 

So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the bedroom and then hid under the bed...

When the husband came back home, saw the letter and read it, he replied on the same paper and then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was wrong..really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!" The husband walked out of the room and left. In tears and very upset, the woman got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what the husband wrote on the letter. 

When she got the letter, it said: "I COULD see your feet under the bed, I didn't make any phone call.. I am going to buy bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare me a meal....

I LOVE YOU!"

Pregnancy Test - Joke

Pregnancy Test

A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.

She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!"

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!

He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!"

He asked, "What do you mean, 'more?'"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!"

Daddy's Big Tummy - Joke

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

What are you doing - Joke

A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”

New Nighty - Joke

The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."

Wives !!!!

Wives !!!!

Wife : "why are u home so early?"

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"

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Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town 

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in his neighbourhood 

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.

It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego! 😷

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Whisky is a brilliant invention.

One double and you start feeling single again. 😇

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It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.

The slide show begins.😜😜😜

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them

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Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day😂

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There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....😜😜

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Wives are magicians........

They can change anything into an argument....😆😜

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Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don't have a wife!😜 😜😆😜

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Share this with all men for a good laugh and with women who can handle it...

Rules of Sex ! - One Good Joke

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Fishing and wife - Joke

Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

3 Times !!! - Joke

Police asked the Thief: Why u went to Steal 3 times in d Same Store?

The thief Replied: Sir, I Stole 1 Dress for my wife & went to Change It Twice!

Women u know.😂

Poor Dog ! - Joke

One fine morning, a billionaire was taking a walk with his dog.
Suddenly a man ran out from the bushes in front of him and shot the poor dog three times. The dog was dead.
The billionaire screamed at the killer, "Why did you do that?".
The killer answered, "Your wife gave me $50,000 and said, "Go, kill that son-of-a-bitch"".

The billionaire hugged the killer & with tears in his eyes said...

"I don't know who your English teacher was, but I am forever grateful to her".

Neighbour's wife

A person reported to the police about ''Missing of his neighbour's wife.''

Police: why are you complaining about his missing wife ?

Reply: I can't tolerate that guy's happiness !!! He celebrates every day.. 😆😆

Diamond Necklace :D - Joke

Wife:(waking up from her sleep)
I just had a dream that
you bought me
a diamond necklace

Husband : go back to sleep and wear it!

Ambulance ! - Joke

A Woman called for an ambulance..

Operator: How may I help you?

Woman: I banged my toe against the coffee table and hurt it real bad.

Operator: And you want to call an ambulance for that?

Woman: No. The ambulance is for my husband. He shouldn't have laughed like that......
😳😳😀

Wife and Newspaper - Joke

Wife asked her husband to give the newspaper ....

Husband: How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper ... ???
Take my iPad ....

Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach

Husband faints

*Moral:*Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument.
Show your smartness in your office only ....