Funny Finger Paintings

<*-*> Humor of Sterven Wright <*-*>

Humor of Steven Wright

[1]  All of the people in my building are insane. The guy
 above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic
 cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a
 department store... with a pricing gun... She said,
 "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking
 down everything in the store."

[2]  And when I get real, real bored, I like to drive
 downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my
 car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

[3]  Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at
 the beach... it ticks me off! I'll go over to a
 little baby and say, "What are you doing here? You
 haven't worked a day in your life!"

[4]  Do you think that when they asked George Washington
 for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

[5]  Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you
 know it will be up all night?

[6]  Ever notice how irons have a setting for PERMANENT
 press? I don't get it...

[7]  For a while I didn't have a car...I had a
 helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to
 a lamp post and left it running... [slow glance
 upward]

[8]  For my birthday I got a humidifier and a
 dehumidifier...I put them in the same room and let
 them fight it out.

[9]  He was a multimillionaire... Wanna know how he made
 all of his money? ... He designed the little
 diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.

[10]  I bought some batteries, but they weren't included, so
 I had to buy them again.

[11]  I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a
 house.

[12]  I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get
 seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can
 get me five.

[13]  I collect rare photographs. One of them is of Houdini
 locking his keys in his car....

[14]  I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one
  It wasn't doing what I was doing.

THE POWER OF WORDS...

The Power Of Words

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the

 pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as goo

d as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and fina

lly made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him

 the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path.

The power of words....it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the

 spirit to continue in difficult times!