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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Aldous Huxley Quotes

Aldous Huxley Quotes



  • That we do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.
    ~ in Collected Essays
  • Under favorable conditions, practically everybody can be converted to practically anything.
    ~ in Brave New World Revisited
  • Chastity–the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
    ~ in Eyeless in Gaza
  • Death … It’s the only thing we haven’t succeeded in completely vulgarizing.
    ~ in Eyeless in Gaza
  • After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
    ~ in Music at Night
  • Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
    ~ in Proper Studies
  • Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
    ~ in Texts and Pretexts
  • Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
    ~ in Vedanta for the Western World
  • An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
  • At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.
  • Experience teaches only the teachable.
  • Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.
  • Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
  • That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
  • There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.
  • A bad book is as much of a labour to write as a good one; it comes as sincerely from the author’s soul.
  • A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor.
  • A child-like man is not a man whose development has been arrested; on the contrary, he is a man who has given himself a chance of continuing to develop long after most adults have muffled themselves in the cocoon of middle-aged habit and convention.
  • A democracy which makes or even effectively prepares for modern, scientific war must necessarily cease to be democratic. No country can be really well prepared for modern war unless it is governed by a tyrant, at the head of a highly trained and perfectly obedient bureaucracy.
  • A fanatic is a man who consciously over compensates a secret doubt.
  • A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch and an optimistic believer in the will’s freedom after it.
  • All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.
  • Amour is the one human activity of any importance in which laughter and pleasure preponderate, if ever so slightly, over misery and pain.
  • An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.
  • Beauty is worse than wine, it intoxicates both the holder and beholder.
  • Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardor, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shams, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision.
  • Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.
  • De Sade is the one completely consistent and thoroughgoing revolutionary of history.
  • Cynical realism is the intelligent man’s best excuse for doing nothing in an intolerable situation.
  • Dream in a pragmatic way.
  • Europe is so well gardened that it resembles a work of art, a scientific theory, a neat metaphysical system. Man has re-created Europe in his own image.
  • Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting.
  • Every man’s memory is his private literature.
  • Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.
  • Feasts must be solemn and rare, or else they cease to be feasts.
  • From their experience or from the recorded experience of others (history), men learn only what their passions and their metaphysical prejudices allow them to learn.
  • God isn’t compatible with machinery and scientific medicine and universal happiness. You must make your choice. Our civilization has chosen machinery and medicine and happiness.
  • Great is truth, but still greater, from a practical point of view, is silence about truth. By simply not mentioning certain subjects… totalitarian propagandists have influenced opinion much more effectively than they could have by the most eloquent denunciations.
  • Habit converts luxurious enjoyments into dull and daily necessities.
  • Happiness is a hard master, particularly other people’s happiness.
  • Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions; it’s walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.
  • I can sympathize with people’s pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else’s happiness.
  • I’m afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery.
  • Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power.
  • If human beings were shown what they’re really like, they’d either kill one another as vermin, or hang themselves.
  • It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder.’
  • It takes two to make a murder. There are born victims, born to have their throats cut, as the cut-throats are born to be hanged.
  • It was one of those evenings when men feel that truth, goodness and beauty are one. In the morning, when they commit their discovery to paper, when others read it written there, it looks wholly ridiculous.
  • It’s with bad sentiments that one makes good novels.
  • Like every man of sense and good feeling, I abominate work.
  • Like every other good thing in this world, leisure and culture have to be paid for. Fortunately, however, it is not the leisured and the cultured who have to pay.
  • Man approaches the unattainable truth through a succession of errors.
  • Man is an intelligence, not served by, but in servitude to his organs.
  • Most ignorance is vincible ignorance. We don’t know because we don’t want to know.
  • Most of one’s life is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
  • My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger.
  • My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.
  • Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held.
  • One of the great attractions of patriotism – it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what’s more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.
  • Orthodoxy is the diehard of the world of thought. It learns not, neither can it forget.
  • People intoxicate themselves with work so they won’t see how they really are.
  • Perhaps it’s good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he’s happy? Would he ever want to do anything? What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?
  • Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them.
  • Science has explained nothing; the more we know the more fantastic the world becomes and the profounder the surrounding darkness.
  • Several excuses are always less convincing than one.
  • So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable.
  • Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers.
  • Specialized meaninglessness has come to be regarded, in certain circles, as a kind of hallmark of true science.
  • Speed, it seems to me, provides the one genuinely modern pleasure.
  • Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
  • That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep.
  • The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.
  • The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.
  • The finest works of art are precious, among other reasons, because they make it possible for us to know, if only imperfectly and for a little while, what it actually feels like to think subtly and feel nobly.
  • The impulse to cruelty is, in many people, almost as violent as the impulse to sexual love – almost as violent and much more mischievous.
  • The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.
  • The most distressing thing that can happen to a prophet is to be proved wrong. The next most distressing thing is to be proved right.
  • The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings, and that these individual beings are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder or be murdered in quarrels not their own.
  • The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not.
  • The propagandist’s purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human.
  • The proper study of mankind is books.
  • The quality of moral behaviour varies in inverse ratio to the number of human beings involved.
  • The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm.
  • The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar… Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted, and always derided as fools and madmen.
  • The worst enemy of life, freedom and the common decencies is total anarchy; their second worst enemy is total efficiency.
  • There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.
  • There is no substitute for talent. Industry and all its virtues are of no avail.
  • There isn’t any formula or method. You learn to love by loving – by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.
  • There’s only one effectively redemptive sacrifice, the sacrifice of self-will to make room for the knowledge of God.
  • Those who believe that they are exclusively in the right are generally those who achieve something.
  • Thought must be divided against itself before it can come to any knowledge of itself.
  • To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
  • To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.
  • Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength.
  • We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
  • We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.
  • What is absurd and monstrous about war is that men who have no personal quarrel should be trained to murder one another in cold blood.
  • What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.
  • What with making their way and enjoying what they have won, heroes have no time to think. But the sons of heroes – ah, they have all the necessary leisure.
  • Words, words, words! They shut one off from the universe. Three quarters of the time one’s never in contact with things, only with the beastly words that stand for them.
  • Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at bottom, to be more themselves.
  • Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
  • You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It’s one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear.
  • Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation. It is the rarest thing to find a player who has not had his character affected for the worse by the practice of his profession. Nobody can make a habit of self-exhibition, nobody can exploit his personality for the sake of exercising a kind of hypnotic power over others, and remain untouched by the process.
  • Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness in eying the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying.
  • The brotherhood of men does not imply their equality. Families have their fools and their men of genius, their black sheep and their saints, their worldly successes and their worldly failures. A man should treat his brothers lovingly and with justice, according to the deserts of each. But the deserts of every brother are not the same.
  • Ignore death up to the last moment; then, when it can’t be ignored any longer, have yourself squirted full of morphia and shuffle off in a coma. Thoroughly sensible, humane and scientific, eh?
  • Single-mindedness is all very well in cows or baboons; in an animal claiming to belong to the same species as Shakespeare it is simply disgraceful.

Monday, September 25, 2017

JIB: Job Interview Breakdown

Have you ever been a victim 
of a JIB (job interview breakdown)? These men and women have:


• “I was so nervous at a job interview, when he asked me what I wanted to be in five years, I said, ‘Race car driver.’”
• “The guy asked me to tell him 
a little about myself, and I literally forgot who I was.”
• “I got asked about punctuality. 
I went on about how it was good 
to speak clearly and politely, and 
it was nice to use proper grammar 
in speech and writing.”
Source: dailymail.co.uk

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Where is Jesus ? - Joke


A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

5 Reasons You Must Marry a Moroccan Woman

5 Reasons You Must Marry a Moroccan Woman



Friday, September 15, 2017

Asia’s richest man 'Alibaba' CEO Jack Ma dances to Michael Jackson

Asia’s richest man Jack Ma dances to Michael Jackson at Alibaba anniversary


Apple launch event should take notes from Alibaba’s chairman and China’s richest man Jack Ma, who kicked off his company’s 18th anniversary with a dramatic Michael Jackson dance. Ma sat on a motorcycle onstage while wearing a mask and outfit that resembles Jackson’s outfit on his Dangerous World tour. He danced along to the opening notes of Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” and then got into a Beyoncé-esque “Formation” with his backup dancersHe performed for a crowd of about 40,000 employees.


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Ass and Media !

Ass and Media !



#Media #justforfun
A King enrolled his donkey in a race
& won.
Local paper read:
'KING's ASS WON!'
The king was so upset with this kind
of publicity that he gave the donkey
to the queen.
The local paper then read:
"QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN!"
The king fainted....
Queen sold the donkey to a farmer
for 10$.
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS
HER ASS FOR $10!"
The queen fainted...
The next day king ordered the queen
to buy back the donkey and leave it
in jungle.
The Next Headlines:
"QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS NOW
FREE & WILD !"
The king died... !!
Thats Media!!! You cant control it.
🤗🤗🤗 ....

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? - Celebrities' replies

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.  The chicken “crossed” the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”  And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”  Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom have we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road… it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive maneuver.  The chicken obviously didn’t see the road until he had already started to cross.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road.  Not a single time.  Never.  (It was a boulevard.)
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.  Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.  Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Monday, August 14, 2017

North Korea and Chicken

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


Saturday, August 12, 2017

iPhone 7 plus - A Damn Good Joke

Husband on second day of marriage :-



He went to the makeup artist  who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iPhone 7 plus box.

Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100. 

Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
😂🤣😝😛😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

🙌🙌🙌

Friday, August 11, 2017

Winston Churchill - A Fool ?

Winston Churchill - A Fool ?


During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.

The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?

Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
👍

Thats the real sense of Humour..👌🏼😁

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

30 Characteristics of a Good Guy

30 Characteristics of a Good Guy



  1. He has integrity and character:  simply put, a good guy is less talk and more action.  The Latin origin of “integrity” means whole, and when it comes to being a good guy, wholesome is sexy.  Everywhere he goes, he leaves a mark.
  2. He’s balanced:  family and friends always comes first.  He prioritizes his time and is well-rounded in many areas.  He’s a modern Renaissance man.
  3. He’s confident:  this doesn’t mean cocky at all.  He has a good self-image about himself and believes he deserves the best.
  4. He’s courageous:  he goes after what he wants even in the presence of self-doubt.  He’s not afraid to approach women and spark conversation.
  5. He listens:  the good guy doesn’t care about the sound of his voice.  He doesn’t interrupt and he follows the rule that 75% of the time should be listening vs. talking.
  6. He takes initiative:  the good guy is a leader, and takes the first step in a group setting and in a relationship.
  7. He’s detail-oriented:  as tough as it is for a man, the good guy tries to stay on top of it and is organized.  When it comes to pursuing the girl of his dreams, he knows the little things count the most.
  8. He has self-respect and gives respect to all:  he focuses on the kind of man he wants to be, and creates a positive internal self-dialogue.  A good guy is empathetic and forgiving.
  9. He challenges himself to be a better man:  most men are raised to believe they need to fight and conquer.  A good guy understands to overcome one’s own self is better than competing and beating anyone else.
  10. He’s committed and faithful:  he says what he means, and means what he says. He follows through with his word even with people who don’t follow through with theirs.  He’s loyal in relationship.
  11. He fights against injustice:  when a good guy sees another guy act out of line with a female, he thinks it could be his own sister, mother or daughter, and steps in to fight the injustice, even if it’s his own friend that’s causing the problem.
  12. He’s honest:  the truth can hurt, but it’s also the beginning of the healing process.  A good guy understands honesty might be tough up front, but the impact is far less than the outcome of long running white lies.
  13. He’s good with his money:  he makes decisions to plan for the future, and makes a budget for himself.
  14. He has good humor:  he doesn’t take himself too seriously, and is happy to be the pun of everyone’s joke.
  15. He’s humble:  he lets others sing his praises instead of himself.
  16. He’s a team player:  he understands the team’s success is his success, and cares more about the team winning than his own ego.
  17. He’s adaptable:  things don’t always go his way, but he picks himself up and tries again.  Throw him in any scene, and he’s comfortable.
  18. He has good manners:  his actions are made with care and consideration.
  19. He’s always learning:  the good guy loves life, and seeks to make the most out of it.  He reads at least one book a month.
  20. He’s shaped by men he respects:  he finds mentors, men he wants to be like, and regularly meets with them.
  21. He has true and close friendships:  he keeps a tight brotherhood around him and understands “iron sharpens iron as man sharpens man.”
  22. He has a desire to advance culture:  when he leaves the world, it will be a better place.
  23. He has temperance (moderate in action, thought, feeling and yup alcohol):  he’s not the wild and out of control guy at the party.  The good guy is the one who carries him home on his shoulders.  He thinks before he acts, and doesn’t let him emotions get the best of him.
  24. He supports and promotes moral excellence:  he knows what’s right and wrong.  The good guy is the one who helps an elderly lady carry her groceries to her car.
  25. He seeks peace when possible:  he confronts in private, but he’s never a doormat.  The confidence in himself is unwavering in tough times.
  26. He improves his physical health:  he knows his body is a temple, and works to improve his health and his image.
  27. He has a vision to lead:  with long-term thinking, the good guy leads with the realization his actions today will affect his life and others in the future.
  28. He has gratitude:  he works hard, and is thankful for everything he receives.
  29. He knows the importance of family:  not only is he concerned with the legacy he will leave, but he honors the legacy he has received and the traditions of his ancestors.
  30. He believes in his Creator:  he starts his day in prayer, and stops and listens for his next steps.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Oscar Wilde's Awesome 25 Quotes

Oscar Wilde's Awesome 25 Quotes





1. I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
2. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
3. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
4. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
5. The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
6. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
7. What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
8. A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
9. When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
10. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
11. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
12. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
13. True friends stab you in the front.
14. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
15. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
16. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
17. Genius is born—not paid.
18. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
19. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?
20. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
21. My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.
22. The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
23. I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
24. There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.
25. Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Monday, July 31, 2017

One Reason To Buy A Painting

One Reason To Buy A Painting


At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.
“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.
“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Magic with Amanda's Bra !!!


This "FUNNY" MAGICIAN TOOK AMANDA's BRA!



Thursday, July 27, 2017

A Truly Amazing Video - This is Video You Need To See Before You Die

A Truly Amazing Video - This is Video You Need To See Before You Die


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

What's up Whatsapp :)

What's up Whatsapp :)



Economics is not that difficult if we have the *Right Examples*.

*Interviewer*: What is Recession? 

*Candidate*: When *Wine & Women* get replaced by *Water & Wife*, 
that critical phase of life is called *Recession*!!😜

*Accountancy fact*:

What is the difference between *Liability* & *Asset*?

A *drunk friend* is *liability*...

But

A *drunk Girlfriend* is an *Asset*....
😜😜😜😜😜

*Law of equality* 💠

The time taken by a wife when she says *I'll get ready in 5 min* is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says *'I'll call u in 5 min*!📞📱
😜😜😜😜
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

I argued👿... She argued👿...

I shouted😡... She shouted😡 and then she cried😭

*Result*: She won by *duckworth lewis* method😱
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
*Chess* is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the *husband*.

This *poor king* can take only *one step at a time* ...

While the *mighty queen can do whatever she likes*....
-------------🙋🙆💁🙅
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
All Men are Brave...

Horror Movies don't Scare them....

But *5 Missed Calls from Wife* ..surely does...😝😝😝

One Smart Guy Invented
*WhatsApp*

His Wife Added a feature in it called
*Last Seen At*'😜👌

Thank god she didnt add
*Last Seen With*
😉😝😝--------------------------------------------------------------
Punch Of D Day ....
✨✨👊👊✨✨

Once A Man Asked
God....

Why All Girls Are So *Cute & Sweet*, And All Wives Are *Always Angry*????

*God Answered*: Girls Are Made By Me ... And *You make them Wives*..!!!

*Your Problem*.. !!! 😉
😝

*What's Marriage*?

*Answer* - MARRIAGE Is The *7th Sense Of Humans*
That *Destroys* All The *Six Senses*
And Makes The Person *NON Sense*..!

😜😜😝😝😜😜😝😝

Definition Of *Happy Couple* -

HE Does What *SHE Wants*…

*SHE Does What SHE Wants*......

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*Wife*: Dear, this computer is not working *as per my command*.

*Husband*: Exactly darling! its a computer, *Not a Husband*...!!

😜😝😜😝😜😝😜😝

'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."
- *Shakespear*...

"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes, Can Shorten ur Life."

- *Shakespear's Wife*

😜😝😜😝😜😝😜
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